AM I PROUD OF ME
Today, I am one month away from my golden birthday and I have been thinking about some things.
Sometimes when I look at my current life, I think about younger, maybe, 12-year-old me.
"Would 12-year-old Michelle be proud of the Michelle I am now?" I ask myself while looking very critically at my mistakes and my accomplishments. Today I looked at my life a little differently.
Baby 12-year-old Michelle has not experienced the life I have.
She knows nothing of the joy, the pain, and the adventures I have had in my almost 19 years of living. I know that 19 years is not that long on this lovely blue planet, but I still know so much more now than I did almost 7 years ago. I still want many of the same things that I did then, but still, so much of my life has changed dramatically.
I can only hope that my younger self would be proud of the person I have become, but I think in all honesty, she would not understand me. There is so much life she still has yet to live, and because of that life, she turned into the person I am today. She would not get why I have had to make the decisions I have made, or why I am going to a different college than she expected, or why I am planning on doing so many new and different things with my life, or why I think being a Christian is such a big deal, or even why I decided to take this year to travel in PackYourBags.
Younger me would probably think "now me" is insane.
She might be right.
But, most days, the person I am now is very proud of who she is. I am so glad that I have lived this life, despite the hard times and the many, many, MANY mistakes I have made. I have stumbled so much on the rough path of life. But the high points of life have beautiful views, making the stumbles worth it. The me that is one month away from her golden birthday is happy and proud to be here.
Asking 12-year-old me what she thinks about me is a strange thing to do, I think.
She doesn't know me like I do.
Sometimes when I look at my current life, I think about younger, maybe, 12-year-old me.
"Would 12-year-old Michelle be proud of the Michelle I am now?" I ask myself while looking very critically at my mistakes and my accomplishments. Today I looked at my life a little differently.
Baby 12-year-old Michelle has not experienced the life I have.
She knows nothing of the joy, the pain, and the adventures I have had in my almost 19 years of living. I know that 19 years is not that long on this lovely blue planet, but I still know so much more now than I did almost 7 years ago. I still want many of the same things that I did then, but still, so much of my life has changed dramatically.
I can only hope that my younger self would be proud of the person I have become, but I think in all honesty, she would not understand me. There is so much life she still has yet to live, and because of that life, she turned into the person I am today. She would not get why I have had to make the decisions I have made, or why I am going to a different college than she expected, or why I am planning on doing so many new and different things with my life, or why I think being a Christian is such a big deal, or even why I decided to take this year to travel in PackYourBags.
Younger me would probably think "now me" is insane.
She might be right.
But, most days, the person I am now is very proud of who she is. I am so glad that I have lived this life, despite the hard times and the many, many, MANY mistakes I have made. I have stumbled so much on the rough path of life. But the high points of life have beautiful views, making the stumbles worth it. The me that is one month away from her golden birthday is happy and proud to be here.
Asking 12-year-old me what she thinks about me is a strange thing to do, I think.
She doesn't know me like I do.
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